Gay adults share childhood experiences that almost all gay people have

On By Yukito

Teenage boy sending a text messageTeenage boy sending a text message

Perhaps today – or maybe soon – a gay man will be able to grow up and be proud, and his fabulousness will be supported by his family and accepted by his peers. But that wasn’t the story of those of us who spent years or decades in hiding, desperately trying to understand ourselves or at least find someone who understood our feelings.

When a Reddit user recently asked about childhood memories that almost all gay children have, r/askgaybros users responded with hundreds of comments. Some of the comments were lighthearted – we too would rather spend time with our girls than take physics classes! – but many others alluded to the emotional turmoil of growing up gay in a homophobic environment.

Here, edited for readability, are excerpts from that conversation…

“I’m going to the men’s underwear section of the department store.”

“Advertising underwear in postal leaflets and circulars.”

“Taking off your Ken or GI Joe pants and being disappointed, if not horrified.”

“I feel different, isolated and alone.”

“I feel dead inside when friends or family say that homosexuals are sinful, disgusting, abnormal, etc.”

“I’m trying to figure out what the hell to do about this awkward straight girl who has a crush on you.”

“I still live in terror at the thought of anyone finding out about this.”

“You feel existential dread every time your parents shout, ‘Hey, can you come here for a moment?’ I need to ask you something from the other room.

“You’re afraid your parents will check your phone at any moment.”

“The fear that every holiday your relatives and parents’ friends will ask if you have a girlfriend.”

“You don’t know what to say when all your male friends talk sexually about women.”

“I pray other boys don’t ask, ‘Which girl do you like?'”

“When you’re about 13 or 14 and another kid asks, ‘Are you gay?’ and your whole spine tingles with fear.

“Being bullied for being gay before you knew you were gay.”

“I only feel comfortable in most groups of friends.”

“I feel really fucking uncomfortable during sleepovers.”

“Am I gay?” tests.”

“I will be jealous of straight women for all the attention sexy men get in person, in the media, among friends and family, etc.”

“I think maybe you just haven’t met the right girl yet.”

“Finding a way to move away from sports and physical education”

“Feeling a special bond with one of your loved ones or closest male friends.”

“It’s one sleepover with your best friend.”

“Accidentally experimenting and shitting without realizing what you’re doing or why.”

“The crush/lust of a boy who barely knew you existed, who you could never be with.”

“Your friend’s handsome dad.”

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